I Am Alive!!!!

I know, I know, I know...you all probably think I have died and gone to heaven about three months ago and nobody told you because you haven't heard from me in that long! The good news is...I am alive! The bad news....I am officially HORRIBLE at keeping in touch! With my own family for Pete's sake!!! My profuse apologies to all of you, really.
Since it has been so long...I'm not even sure where to start on an update of my life. Really, there's not that much, although I feel like there should be as an excuse for the lack of communication on my part. But, a few things that have happened...I've graduated, been licensed, started working, gained a few clients, waited on clients, given away many free massages in hopes of getting clients, met new people, waited on more clients, have been happy, depressed, bored, frustrated, deathly ill, healthy, joyful... basically up and down the rollercoaster of life a few times in the past few months. And am still alive and well to tell the tale. I look at my life sometimes and think, "I never would have imagined myself in this place, at this time" but overall, I am overwhelmingly blessed and grateful for everything God has done in my life.
It has been incredibly hard starting my own business as a massage therapist. It seems I have lost most, if not all, of the outgoing, non-stop chattering, loud, carefree personality I had as a child (In fact, most of the people in my life today would never believe that I was capable of being any of those words!). I've know this for a while, however have not felt the impact as much as I have lately. Surprise, Surprise...going through school and getting licensed does not put a sign on your forehead saying, "I am a wonderful massage therapist and you should really book an appointment with me because I am totally awesome!" You actually have to open your mouth and talk to people...about yourself! Just hearing that sentence causes my knees to shake and my pits to sweat involuntarily. Me? Talk? About me?!!! Crawling under my bed and hiding from the world is a mental picture that has come to mind many times in the last two months. Why I am so terrified and utterly unconfident baffles me sometimes (and is the cause of many a frustrating conversation with Shalaunda). Why my tongue twists around itself when I try to speak to new people is a constant frustration. But I am working and trying to get past these hurdles. I have been working in a wellness center owned by the son of some very dear people, Robert and Susie Lamberth whom I met during my time at Mercy. They are an amazing family who has blessed my life beyond words. I have been sharing two rooms with another massage therapist and an aesthetician, so I work four days a week there if I have clients. Recently, I met another chiropractor on the other side of town who is interested in having me work in his office the other two days. This all sounds great, and it is! But my biggest downfall has been my fear of marketing and actually having to go out and promote myself and my business. In a perfect world, I would be getting calls every day and doing about 12-15 massages a week. But I know it doesn't work like that. So please pray for me, that my nausea and fears will settle themselves and I will be able to seek out opportunities to grow my business. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, but in my heart of all hearts I know I am where God wants me to be and He is going to help me get through this process.
In other news, or really lack of....um...no boyfriend, I'm not pregnant, my hair's not blue although it's slightly longer than it has been in a while, no more tattoos...hmm, is that all? I do miss you all terribly even though I haven't acted like that is true. Has anyone thought about plans of getting together this year? We really need to not be like our extended family whom we only see about every seven years!! Seriously, I can't believe I haven't even seen Dallen yet!! So we need to get on that!
Oh, one very important thing I forgot to mention...Debi is now living with Shalaunda and I! Most of you knew that I realize, but it is important because it has taken more adjusting than I thought. Turns out...all three of us have very different pet peeves, OCDisms, and sensitive areas that have been the cause of many a misunderstanding and miscommunication. It has been a sometimes frustrating, other times humorous, and definitely a growing process for all of us. We are learning to TALK(why is that so dreadfully hard for our family?!)and not stuff things, and to laugh at ourselves when necessary. A young girl from church recently spent the night at our house and when we apologized for the frustration and miscommunication that is a part of our daily lives she said, "I'm just glad my family is not the only one who is dysfunctional!" lol.
Well, now that I have written a book that will never be published...I will give your most likely crossed eyes and boggled minds a rest. I'm not going to promise a weekly update from now on because I will most likely break that promise, but I will try to not hide in a cave without talking to anyone for months at a time. I really do love you guys and miss you severely!

Laughter is the only medicine sometimes....

This blog is a prayer request and a reminder that in spite of everything, there is still a positive, funny side to things. The prayer request is for me and my pastor's family, Shalaunda, and our church. Things have been really hard lately. My pastor has lost almost everything due to many unfair accusations and mostly because I know Satan hates him and the anointing that is on his life. Also, we are losing the Haven House despite all attempts to save it. It is on the market, and unless God does a miracle(which we are still believing for!) we will lose it. Shalaunda and I need a place to live and things aren't looking very promising, and Shalaunda needs a job very soon. There is alot more to the story, but those are the biggest needs we have right now. Please keep us in your prayers. I know God has a plan, it's just hard not knowing what the next step is.

These pictures are to remind myself and all of you that when you're going through hell, sometimes you just need to laugh. :) Enjoy.

ho hum...

I said I would try to keep this blog updated so even though I don't have anything really new and exciting(other than a new nephew, but that goes for all of us :) ) I felt like writing something today. Maybe this is because I have been feeling homesick lately. Not for home where mom and dad live(sorry, but I don't think I could be payed to live in WY again!), but for my siblings and neices and nephews.
Things have been so crazy in my life lately and this summer has been really hard in alot of ways. There are days when I don't want to be a grown-up anymore. Life throws all kinds of things at us and there have been times I just want to let them crush me instead of fighting to get through it. Thank God I have the people surrounding me here that I do, but they are going through it too so I feel like I am fighting for myself but also fighting for them in my prayers. I know that I know that I know that God is going to bring us to the other side of this though. Most of you know what is going on and I'm happy to say that for now, the Haven House is not in foreclosure and we aren't going to have to move. We still need support badly though and are working on getting partners to support us monthly. Keep my pastor and his family in your prayers too, they are losing everything it seems. It has been amazing to watch them fight and stand in their faith throughout this process, but I know it is wearing on them and am praying that the end comes soon.
On a brighter note...I had a great birthday. Shalaunda bought me some amazing jewelry from Ten Thousand Villages that I had been coveting, but never dreamt I'd be able to buy or that someone would buy it for me. One of those pieces is a real pearl necklace that is absolutely gorgeous and earrings to match! I love pearls almost more than diamonds and so I was so excited to get these! I still can't believe she spent that much money on me(she would get mad if she knew I said that too.) I'll have to post pictures because they are so beautiful. Also, they surprised me by taking me out to dinner at Olive Garden with all of my favorite people: PG and his family, Shalaunda, Robert & Susie(Gave me a car & I'll be working in their sons chiropractor office when I'm done!), and a sweet lady named Polly that I met through Mercy. We had a great dinner and I got to do my favorite thing: spend time with the people I love.
As far as school goes...I am praying this next week and a half go by very fast because the class I'm in is just plain boring and confusing. It is Chinese medicine so we are learning all about yin and yang, taoism, acupuncture, tui na, and all kinds of things that mom and dad would probably faint if they knew I was being taught. Some of it is very strange and I don't agree with at all and would never get into it, but we have to go through this class so I'm just waiting it out. After this I have three more classes and then clinic! I think I will be almost completely finished before Christmas and then I graduate January 16th! I'm really starting to get excited about the prospect of making more money because things have been so tight this summer and I'm looking forward to being able to breathe and not eat tuna for every meal. :)
All in all, I am doing good, I really am even though things are hard. I have alot of things to look forward to, alot to be thankful for, and alot to be happy about. And...I'm excited about getting to come home for Thanksgiving! I can't wait to see everyone and hope that we all can make it so it isn't another two years before we are all together.
I better go.. I love you all and am praying for everyone.

The Sisters Visit...

These pictures are from a few weeks ago when Janette and Debi visited. It was so good to have some family here and just be able to relax, laugh, and enjoy eachother like we never could when we all lived together because we were always on the verge of killing each other! We shopped until we dropped, ate at some great restaurants, saw movies, laughed alot, and just had a blast. We surprised Janette and persuaded mom and dad to let her stay a week longer. She got to go to dinner in her first "little black dress" and heels, but we didn't get a picture. :(


The most sinfully wonderful cake on earth















Stoned on chocolate















Eating our hair















Preparing to take a picture...















Debi getting a bug out of her eye..not really.:)















Obviously it's impossible for us to all look at the
camera at the same time.















Janette fixing a wedgie?















Laughing at Shalaunda trying not to get hit
by a car...















Janette trying to look cool...and failing miserably
I accidentally cut Shalaunda's head off. : /















Group hug to cheer up Jen before she got on the plane















Typical picture of her and I.















aww.















Janette with Pastor Greg and Marvelle the
morning we left.

Some recent pictures..

In June Shalaunda, my pastor's wife and daughter and their two neices went to Florida for a week! It was so much fun! We spent three whole days in Orlanda at Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure, and Disney World(might post some of those pictures later). Thursday we went to the beach with the intention of taking pictures and then changing to lay out, but as soon as we got done with the pictures it started raining! We ended up going home and relaxing for the rest of the evening, but the picture taking was fun and made for good memories.

Shalaunda and I

From the left: Julie(PG's niece, Shalaunda, Brooke(Marvelle's neice),

Marvelle(PG's wife), Me, and Lyndsey(PG's daughter)

The wind was blowing and the sun was in our eyes even

though it looks really cloudy. :(

Playing in the water

She looks so loving here but she threw me off!

The summary that turned into a book...(to be continued)

I have finally succumbed to....The Blog. Seeing as I rarely enjoy talking on the phone(don't understand this, just always have. I believe it is another one of those "Miller things" because several of my sisters and brothers have expressed the same sentiment, which would explain why their numbers only show up on my phone every once in a blue moon. Not that I am any better at dialing their phone numbers, but occasionally we do if only to make sure the other is still alive!) Anyway, I am hoping to keep this quite up-to-date. This shouldn't be too hard because one of my daily duties at the church is to update my pastor's blog(http://pastorgregmanuel.blogspot.com/), so I will hopefully be able to do the same for mine.

For those of you who haven't heard from me in forever(which is most of you I'm afraid!) I will try to give a little summary of what I have been up to lately. Here goes nothing....

I am excited to say that I am almost finished with my sixth class in Massage Therapy school. This means I have only four classes and then a few weeks of clinic hours before I am ready to graduate! School has absolutely flown by and crawled along at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I started yesterday, and then there are days where I wonder if I will ever be done. Sometimes I get sick of learning every muscle, bone, artery, joint, and lymph node in the body, but other days it is very interesting and I am amazed at the incredible complexity and wonder of what makes up our bodies. I learn something new everyday and really do love giving massages as weird as that may sound to some people. There is so much information to cram into my pea-sized brain however! I feel like I need to go to school for two years before actually being employed somewhere for this, but I guess I'll just have to learn as I go. So, despite being slightly(ok, very!) afraid of not being able to retain all this information and not being ready, I am enjoying school very much.

Like it says in the "About me" section, I work at my church in the mornings. Sometimes it is the hardest job I've ever had and sometimes it is the easiest, but it is definitely my favorite. I absolutely love my church(you should check it out at http://www.communitylifefellowship.com),%20and/ and my pastor and his wife are two of the most amazing people I've ever met. They have unofficially adopted me into their family so I now have two additional brothers(who are mostly retarded, but hilarious and fun like most brothers are) and a pesky but lovable little sister. Another amazing person in my life is Shalaunda King. My roommate, confidante, kicker-in-the-butt when I need it, true friend, and basically my second mother. :) God has truly blessed me with a family away from my family.

I've lived in Tennessee for almost a year now. I know I keep contradicting myself but it has truly been the hardest, most challenging, most growing, and most amazing year of my life so far. I have made many new friends, I have lost a few. I experienced the death of someone very close to me for the first time. I had people actually hate me with a passion for the first time! I have had plenty, and have had to pray my car home because of the lack of gas and the lack of money to buy it. Then there has even been the rare occasion of shopping, and buying things that were not on sale or second-hand! (This was of course followed by waves of guilt and an overwhelming urge to run back to the store and return everything, but I was usually forced to keep it all). I've been on a real vacation with a beach and theme parks for the first time! I've cried until I couldn't breathe, and laughed until I've cried. I have experienced so much, but can honestly say I wouldn't change any of it. God has been so incredibly faithful and good. Even when things seem impossible and I wonder how I am possibly going to make it through, He is always there!

Well, as usual, my summary has turned into a novel, and I still didn't cover everything! I will continue the updates on my life and summer but right now my insides are eating themselves so I must go... :)