Thursday, April 30, 2009

I Am Alive!!!!

I know, I know, I know...you all probably think I have died and gone to heaven about three months ago and nobody told you because you haven't heard from me in that long! The good news is...I am alive! The bad news....I am officially HORRIBLE at keeping in touch! With my own family for Pete's sake!!! My profuse apologies to all of you, really.
Since it has been so long...I'm not even sure where to start on an update of my life. Really, there's not that much, although I feel like there should be as an excuse for the lack of communication on my part. But, a few things that have happened...I've graduated, been licensed, started working, gained a few clients, waited on clients, given away many free massages in hopes of getting clients, met new people, waited on more clients, have been happy, depressed, bored, frustrated, deathly ill, healthy, joyful... basically up and down the rollercoaster of life a few times in the past few months. And am still alive and well to tell the tale. I look at my life sometimes and think, "I never would have imagined myself in this place, at this time" but overall, I am overwhelmingly blessed and grateful for everything God has done in my life.
It has been incredibly hard starting my own business as a massage therapist. It seems I have lost most, if not all, of the outgoing, non-stop chattering, loud, carefree personality I had as a child (In fact, most of the people in my life today would never believe that I was capable of being any of those words!). I've know this for a while, however have not felt the impact as much as I have lately. Surprise, Surprise...going through school and getting licensed does not put a sign on your forehead saying, "I am a wonderful massage therapist and you should really book an appointment with me because I am totally awesome!" You actually have to open your mouth and talk to people...about yourself! Just hearing that sentence causes my knees to shake and my pits to sweat involuntarily. Me? Talk? About me?!!! Crawling under my bed and hiding from the world is a mental picture that has come to mind many times in the last two months. Why I am so terrified and utterly unconfident baffles me sometimes (and is the cause of many a frustrating conversation with Shalaunda). Why my tongue twists around itself when I try to speak to new people is a constant frustration. But I am working and trying to get past these hurdles. I have been working in a wellness center owned by the son of some very dear people, Robert and Susie Lamberth whom I met during my time at Mercy. They are an amazing family who has blessed my life beyond words. I have been sharing two rooms with another massage therapist and an aesthetician, so I work four days a week there if I have clients. Recently, I met another chiropractor on the other side of town who is interested in having me work in his office the other two days. This all sounds great, and it is! But my biggest downfall has been my fear of marketing and actually having to go out and promote myself and my business. In a perfect world, I would be getting calls every day and doing about 12-15 massages a week. But I know it doesn't work like that. So please pray for me, that my nausea and fears will settle themselves and I will be able to seek out opportunities to grow my business. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, but in my heart of all hearts I know I am where God wants me to be and He is going to help me get through this process.
In other news, or really lack of....um...no boyfriend, I'm not pregnant, my hair's not blue although it's slightly longer than it has been in a while, no more tattoos...hmm, is that all? I do miss you all terribly even though I haven't acted like that is true. Has anyone thought about plans of getting together this year? We really need to not be like our extended family whom we only see about every seven years!! Seriously, I can't believe I haven't even seen Dallen yet!! So we need to get on that!
Oh, one very important thing I forgot to mention...Debi is now living with Shalaunda and I! Most of you knew that I realize, but it is important because it has taken more adjusting than I thought. Turns out...all three of us have very different pet peeves, OCDisms, and sensitive areas that have been the cause of many a misunderstanding and miscommunication. It has been a sometimes frustrating, other times humorous, and definitely a growing process for all of us. We are learning to TALK(why is that so dreadfully hard for our family?!)and not stuff things, and to laugh at ourselves when necessary. A young girl from church recently spent the night at our house and when we apologized for the frustration and miscommunication that is a part of our daily lives she said, "I'm just glad my family is not the only one who is dysfunctional!" lol.
Well, now that I have written a book that will never be published...I will give your most likely crossed eyes and boggled minds a rest. I'm not going to promise a weekly update from now on because I will most likely break that promise, but I will try to not hide in a cave without talking to anyone for months at a time. I really do love you guys and miss you severely!

6 comments:

Montana said...

Krystal, just a few things: as much as we all want to hear from and about you...did you have to inform us about the state of your pits? Secondly, I've been told that if you picture people naked, it's easier to feel confident while talking to them. I kinda think I'd be more awkward but...to each his own... Thirdly, I can relate to not wanting to market yourself or feel you really have anything to market...I'm panicked that my school is coming to an end because I'm afraid I'll have to apply it now. What's wrong with us?
Thirdly...it appears that I can't count.
Love
Carolyn

J Matt Miller said...

Hi, Last weekend I was at a women's retreat and on the first evening the speaker told everyone to find a complete stranger and then tell them something wonderful and amazing about yourself. My mind was blank, my mouth was dry and I was kicking myself for ever wanting to go to the stupid retreat. Seems to be a universal problem.... It is good to hear from you. I finally sent off a box for you and Debi yesterday. Mostly it is -just for fun-nonsense but Debi's diploma is in there. Love you!

Krystal said...

Well, sisters it seems we all have some of the same problems...not a good thing really but at least we are not alone! And my pits don't really sweat because I just don't do that. However, I really do stutter and stumble over my words and my hands shake! Oh, btw you two need to go to my facebook and find Peter Hinz in my friends. He is the one on the right in the profile pic.He is the chiropractor I recently started working with.(will probably do massages at his office 2 days a week) Oh yeah, and he's 25, single, hot, and a Christian...ahem ahem...my knees really did get weak the first time I saw him, it was kind of ridiculous but involuntary. And...i think he's coming to church with me on Wednesday. Can you believe I got up the nerve to ask him?! I shocked myself too. But yeah...pray for maybe some divine intervention and that he turns out to really be a great guy to, um, work with. :)
Diana I'm looking forward to getting your box! Carolyn, are you sure you shouldn't be retaking some kindergarten classes rather than college? Is the school aware of this counting issue? :)j/k
Love and miss you both!!

Martha A. said...

Okay, I know this is meant for family, but i think of you guys as sort of family, does that count?
Anyhow, I am going through the same stuff with being a doula. Does this mean i have to actually go out and promote myself and say "I am a wonderful person to have at the most private moment of your life!! Pick me!!!"
And talking to strangers.....oh my goodness, that is really hard, plus you have to know what you are talking about. Sorry, hopefully this was not a private moment between sisters. Krystal, you have grown up to be an incredible person it sounds like!

Krystal said...

Not at all Martha. I knew everyone who read my blog would see our comments. And that's awesome that you are becoming a doula! I can't wait til I have the money to take the course. And yes, it will probably take some marketing but maybe you can talk to a local hospital or midwives clinic to let them know you are available so they can tell their patients. Or you could do a small newspaper ad or something. Just a few ideas because I know how hard it is to just start talking to strangers! I got some very cheap but nice business cards at vistaprint.com that I hand out to everyone too!
All this from the person who wrote a whole blog about freaking out about marketing.:) But it's just a few, less scary, ideas.

Martha A. said...

Thanks Krystal, (whom I still think of as a two year old for some reason....I think I need to see you grown up!!)
I think I am going to actively pursue getting my cards or brochures in the doctor's offices too. I think the biggest thing is still many people don't think they need one or don't want to spend the money on one or still yet, don't know what one is!

Hope you do well with the hot chiropractor! = )